Posts Tagged With: self worth

All I wanna be.

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Ok, look, if you have read my blog entries or even better (for me, not you I’m sure) if you know me, you know that I’ve always wanted more……some might even say I’m capable of more. I think I have those things in me to be more. I mean I’ve done things……………I’ve written songs, I’ve helped folks, I’ve recently wrote an article that was published. It was published in a local magazine but still published. 

Here I am drunk and stoned and worried that my funeral may be a quiet affair. Maybe I’m just being a sensationalist but I really does hurt to feel like you have something to offer but every time you try to give you just kick yourself in the nuts. I have friends that say “keep writing” or “Write another song”. Sometimes they even say “You know, you could be an actor”. So how does this 30 year old do it? How do I become the “more” that so many folks tell me I can be? NO Really…..I’m asking!!! How do I do it? I know I’m not the only one that KNOWS that they’re worth more. You’ve played hockey or wrote or built something. I know you. I am your friend and I do my best to encourage you but we’re still here. We’re still here working and playing and washing the floor and putting the toilet seat down and buying toilet paper. 

Some of us are blessed with natural talent and good looks so we’ll (you’ll) never fail. Still some of us are broken and set back and all the things. So again I have to ask “how do WE do it?”. Hard work is SO HARD!!! I would love it if some dude came up to me one day and said: “Hey I like what you did there, can I give you money to do that?”. I don’t think that makes me lazy or makes me a                        . I think I just want my Justin Bieber moment. The most important thing to me is that you get YOUR Justin Bieber moment too. Most of us have so much more to give. Most of us have tried harder. Most of us aren’t friends with USHER. 

I know a girl. She’s beautiful, clever and she fucking loves whisky and pulled pork. She models sometimes but shes not famous (to anyone other than me). How does she get huge? How do I get to see her on a billboard? To be quite honest; Jonna deserves to be famous but really she’d have to kill a hooker to get her name known in Vancouver. So would I. Sadly, so would you. So My ultimate question is: 

How does Jeff Wragg get noticed for the pear salad he makes? How does Allison Crawford get noticed for being the best, nicest and smartest woman who ever lived? How do I help? When the these talented folks I know get their moment in the sun? I refuse to believe that it’s just hard work or “who you know”. I mean really!!!! In a world where Nickleback is famous for doing what Pearl Jam did but without the 200 live albums someone like Scott Cosgrove cannot get his book published. Maybe I’m just drunk and angry and lazy but I gotta say; I know some great folks and they are being overlooked because……………………..Well, I can’t say. So here’s to you Jonna and Jeff and Scott and Allison and all of you who’ve ever felt you’ve had more to give. Sorry for the drunk rant but I’m drunk and wanted to rant. 

 

Your boyfriend for the evening.

Joseph Rox

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