Just found this. Moved me a bit.
So it’s been quite a while since I’ve even looked at my WordPress account. In that time very little has changed. To be quite honest, very little has changed in my life since I was 15 years old. Sure my address may have changed a few times, I may have been in and out of relationships and I have definitely switched jobs………….many, many times. My life has remained a constant Groundhog Day, so to speak, for a million and one reasons.
My Point?
Time for a change, I think. I’m planning to do my best to change the important things. The things that, in my opinion, after a few weeks of introspection, self inventory, and honesty are most important for a healthier relationship with myself, friends, and loved ones. This ain’t gonna be easy I’m sure but I’m promising anyone who may happen to stumble upon this stranger’s blog to give it a fair shake and see where it goes.
I think it best to do it in stages. I’ll let go of some secrets, reveal some lies, tell a bit of the truth and then every so often talk about where I’d really like to be………….So here goes!! I figured I’d start out by listing EVERY job I’ve ever had. This won’t be easy because there’s quite a bit of shame associated to this subject because I’ve had ALOT of jobs. Many (actually MOST) of them I was fired, let go, terminated ect. for various reasons. In many cases it was because I am not a punctual person, I feel entitled and worthy of praise for no good reason, or I simply gave up. I’m a prideful person with no real reason for it. I naturally feel superior to most people at most of my jobs and I am there for instant gratification, praise, beer money, to stave off boredom and mainly because it’s something to do. In almost every instance I’ve experienced a level of anxiety in building myself up so high that my skill cannot keep up and eventually I cannot get back to just being the new guy. In short I get a job, I build myself up, I cannot make good on my claims and I’m fired in 6 months.
That’s the Truth! I’d like to change these ways of thinking. I’d like to come to work and just do the job. I’d like to not interrupt another bartender and spew out my bartending credentials or after meeting a co-worker for the first time immediately imagine I’m an integral part of the social fabric of that workplace. I’d like to be a bit more motivated by the pursuit of a JOB WELL DONE. I’d also like to experience less anxiety about starting a new day at work and just be the NEW GUY……….
My Job History (starting at age 15……I’m 30 now)
- McDonalds
- Protocol (tele-marketing)
- Randy River (retail)
- McDonalds (second time)
- Rainbow Lounge (first bar I ever worked at)
- Minix Tele-Marketing
- The WERX (bar/nightclub)
- Canway (mfg. plant)
- Jolly Farmers (pub in England)
- Route 66 (bar)
- Acclemation (restaurant)
- Subway
- Hill Program (group home)
- Good Shepherd Center (group home)
- McDonalds (3rd time)
- Bell Canada (CSR)
- Hamilton Windows & Doors (tele-marketer)
- Honest Lawyer (bar)
- Jax Bar (karaoke host)
- Old Fire Hall (karaoke host)
- Jolly Farmers (2nd time)
- Castle Tavern (England)
- Thirst (cocktail bar England)
- The Lodge (Gentleman’s Club England)
- Beaver and Bulldog (pub)
- Burger King
- Grand Olympia (banquet hall)
- The Homestead (bar)
- Endzone (karaoke host)
- Splitzville (bowling alley)
- Honest Lawyer (2nd time)
- Sarcoa (bar/restaurant)
- Proctor Manor (group home)
- Boston Pizza
- Boston Pizza (2nd location)
- The Firkin on Younge (bar)
In between these jobs I also took part time jobs in Roofing, Tiling, Demolition, Being a musician, hosting Open Mic Nights, Moving, among others.
This list is very shameful and I’ve gotta say, very embarrassing! I think Ive now reached a critical point in my life where I’ve recognized a problem and I’m trying to build a skill-set to change it. I don’t want to be the brunt of employment jokes to my friends anymore, I don’t want to see another unsurprised face when I say I’m “unemployed at the moment”. I absolutely don’t want to be fired again and I don’t want to feel the way I do anymore Realizing that I’ve had almost 40 jobs (probably more) in only 15 years and the shear mathematics of it all is just mortifying. I can’t say I have a fool proof plan at the moment but I believe that by taking small steps to keep myself conscious of the little things I do that become big indicators that I may not be a productive or contributory employee will help. I’m going to keep a copy of this list in my wallet to remind me how horrible I’d feel having to add another Employer to it. I’m going to do my best to keep my mouth shut and not be over familiar. And boy oh boy I gotta get to work on time, prepared, with a full stomach, with all the tools I need to do my job effectively and last but not least I MUST be honest with myself regarding my weaknesses and my strengths.
Here’s to doing my best.
-Your Boyfriend for the Evening
-Joe-
Joseph Rox
Joseph Rox 